and the storm and disorder came:
then fate served several blows. at twenty years of age, he was surrounded by people he could see and hear, but couldn't escape feeling all alone inside still. a mental disintegration swiftly followed. to describe a schizophrenic episode as a collapse of order in your own personal reality is an apt one. for example, objects were lost forever, spatial structure seemed to randomly shift, there was a strong sense of dislocation. for an unstable mind means an unstable reality.
in positive reflection, it meant and forced him to reconsider much of his life and the world he lived in. it was a fluid time then in young adulthood, because it happened, a permanent change in his state of mind occurred.
and it fed many years of independent thinking about many things, as if it loosened his mind, and would lead him to question much that before he received without further thought.