Saturday, November 29, 2014

About Person Talk

about person talk:

now talking about actions, that you do or the other person does or that you do together, is rather self-explanatory, and is, if you like, the bread and butter of a lot of conversation. in a way, it expresses the reality of time itself, an unending series of actions. but, if you will, time never "grows", past configurations of states of matter may be lost, and quite truthfully, a lot of this action is not easily remembered. do you remember exactly what you were doing, in whatever form you were, 200 years ago? probably not.

where it becomes more personal perhaps is when you express your feelings or thoughts about what you are doing, and so it becomes more revealing. learning about the other person you are talking to and revealing things about yourself, your own person, is probably the primary purpose of talking. think about it this way, from first principles, i am me, of course, but you, at the start, are an unknown quantity. we trade information about each other, our likes, our wants, our values, our outlook on life. and perhaps, if close enough in real space, even our emotions. i digress, there is a scene in the film, Closer (2004), where the female character exclaims in reply to a male character proclaiming his love for her, "where is this love ... i can't feel it". well, this could be interpreted literally, like they are actually so far apart in real space that they cannot feel each other's emotions, and that's what i first thought. can people really separated by a huge distance in real space have a real relationship? and don't other people, quite literally, "get in the way", given that there may be dozens of personal bubbles in space between them linking the two together? to return to the point, "getting to know someone" is how it starts and really is a never-ending thing. people change from day to day, though you may consider the bulk of personality to be fixed.

of course, on earth, there are, if you like, "facts" about people, though in themselves they are not truly revealing about the real person, things like their name, their job, where they live and so on. assume there are millions of people on earth with the same name, millions of people living in the same city, etc.

to truly reveal yourself is to talk about your emotions, of the eight, want, happy, love, shock, fear, anger, hate and sorrow, perhaps we mostly talk about the first two, what we like doing, what makes us happy. the fear is, of course, and no one really talks about this, is that if it goes wrong, you can make someone feel your hate of them across real space. i guess this is the real reason why people are shy, are nervous about meeting other people, there is a palpable fear of emotional incompatibility. who wants to feel something like 500 million volts of another person's hate flowing into their body? on the other hand, you may truly feel another's love for you inside.

and also, rather a lot of talk about person is about what they think, their opinions, which ultimately express their values, what they think is good, or not. as our thoughts are variable, so even our opinions may change.

there is a theory that if two people end up meeting in the same place on earth, they must have quite a lot in common to start with. obviously, they were both for earth, at the same place on earth at the same time, there must be something to talk about, even though, in actuality, they may be something like light years apart in real space. also, for those who hear voices, if they are not hearing their own thoughts, they are hearing those close in real space probably. assuming real closeness in space means similarity of personality, again there is a lot to talk about.

CLEARCHARGE

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Talk As a Function by PART

talk as a function by PART:

it is easy not to think too much about talking all the while and yet still talk quite passably, even effectively, but at some point an understanding deep down of the purpose of conversation is useful.

as strangers to each other at first, what do we know? i am where i am, you are where you are in space. there is a fixed, unchanging distance between us, and perhaps, if we are still strangers to this day, many other people between us. who knows how many real degrees of separation are between us, how many personal bubble spaces down the line you are? as an aside, are we all linked like a chain or are there masses of personal bubble spaces stuck together in parts of space or both? now this world, this earth, is, if you like, a virtual platform where strangers can meet, even if all that is possible in actuality is a kind of speaking hologram in front of us representing another person.

PART is an acronym. P is for person. there is always a curiosity about the other person, what are they, what are they like? your job first of all is to satisfy the other person's curiosity about you. you have to reveal things about your person. what do you like? what do you value? personal details, etc.

once you get to know someone a little, when you're with them a lot, talking often moves on to A for action. what's happening? what have you done? what are you going to do? indeed what are we going to do together?

R is for relief. Ian Fleming wrote a James Bond short story, Quantum of Solace. it's about a failed marriage where they did not provide each other with a measure or "quantum of solace", that is, a certain kindness perhaps, or relief as i call it here. all the time that there is a relationship, you have to express, if you like, that you do indeed like the other person, that you wish them well, show some consideration, otherwise it's a non-starter. put it another way, simply, that you have to make them feel better, give that quantum of solace to the other person which Fleming wrote about.

finally, T for truth. everyone has questions about everything. if you can tell people truths they didn't know, all the better.

of course, this is all very simple sounding, but essentially, talk does not escape the boundaries of these things, does it?

CLEARCHARGE