Talk As Pinball Minefield

talk as pinball minefield:

if conversation were as a game, like pinball, the focus of our thoughts the ball, and our words the paddle, some of the board would be minefield, for talking is not without risk. of course, it has its rewards. it satisfies personal curiosities, communicates truths, validates beliefs, makes clear what is happening and what could happen, and may bring about happiness and wellbeing.

where it goes wrong it induces hate, anger, sorrow or fear, perhaps in that very order. it is all very well to say, "oh everyone's the same", but truthfully, everyone's mind is mapped at least a little differently. everyone has a unique value system. cynically, if everyone wants different things, or even perhaps the same thing but to a different degree, what are they doing together? on the other end of the scale, into the negative, there are things people do not want, or even fear or hate. the difficulty lies in that, in a real sense, words do not mean exactly the same thing to other people, they are not connected to the same ideas, concepts and experiences as in your own mind. when i say word X, i am thinking of ideas B and M, for instance, but it may trigger someone else to think of ideas Y and F. F might be something unpleasant.

and because we are driven by want, people may assume that what we casually mention, we actually want, even if this is not true or the purpose of what we say. it is not exactly about being direct or indirect, there are different manners of speaking, some speak in an emotionally loaded way, everything closely connected to their own worldview, what they want, fear or hate or what makes them angry or sad.

to reveal acute differences in value systems would usually be thought of as a loss but then again perhaps talk is only a form of art, nice when it goes well, but not a matter of life and death. even if only some common ground is found, it is in some sense a success.

CLEARCHARGE