The Flow of Words and Ideas and Subtext

the flow of words and ideas and subtext:

"...it's like i was talking at cross purposes with her the whole time. maybe she thought i was judging her or something but she was misconstruing everything i said and then she was, i don't want to say attacking me back, but that's what it felt like."

"she was criticizing you, you mean?"

"not directly but how to put it, it's like she knew my weaknesses, all my faults and character flaws, and kept digging at that. i certainly didn't mean to criticize her or patronize her or whatever."

"in other words, you made some innocent remark and she took it the wrong way and then she got angry and then felt compelled to return what she thought was an insult."

"exactly. also, i think she's passive aggressive."

"but what does that really mean? instead of exploding with anger, you contain it, bottle it up inside or only release a bit of the toxic stuff at worst or become unresponsive and behave a little badly maybe? but is that so bad? a lot of people avoid confrontation and it's their natural reaction."

"i know, but part of me thinks it would be a relief if everyone just said what they thought, but yes, i see how it could get out of hand. you say things you don't mean, you being the normal, thoughtful, almost placid self."

"the question does arise, though, do people know what you think? is there some inadvertent telepathy going on? is there some channel through the collective unconscious or whatever, that streams the ideas and thoughts running through our heads? i mean, we filter out most of the bad stuff when we talk, but who's to say there is definitely, you know, completely proven, no way that there is any transmission of what we are thinking? i mean, scientists say you can't prove telepathy, but can they, by the same token, prove that there is definitely zero thought transfer going on?"

"so what you are saying is, i was really actually thinking bad thoughts about her, but even though i didn't say anything of that, she picked up on it? so i'm actually a bad person anyway?"

"no, i'm not saying that. were you thinking bad thoughts about her?"

"no! not until she started attacking me!"

"what you were saying about saying things you don't mean, what you really think and feel and believe being contradicted by what you say in anger, i look back and i see where i've made mistakes, you know? like why did i ever believe that? so it's a work in progress. but, i mean, i'm here, you're where you are, eternally, it's like why should we ever deal in anything so negative, you know? i'm just glad that we can communicate, we can talk."

"i know. there's all the time in the world."

CLEARCHARGE